Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Memory and disappointment

What causes the memory to be better, more fulfilling, more satisfying, tastier, fuller and seemingly more real than the reality? What is it that allows the mind to embellish the truth? Is it in all minds or only my mind which reacts this way? My mind is fickle. I am sure it is encouraged to blow the memory out of proportion to the reality.


Weeks pass and the desire to feel like that again grows stronger. I find myself lost in day dreams reliving how good it was and how great it will be when I get to enjoy that pleasure again. My mind recalls every minute detail, smell, feel, taste. I become needy, it is always on my mind.


When finally the planets align and there is just enough gap in the daily grind to allow for an hour or so free of guilt and ripe for dirty pleasure the desire is at its highest.


Disappointment reigns.


The reality is nothing like the memory. Everything is wrong. Although it may look the same it is not. Different smell, different taste, different feel, none as good as the memory, the recollection is too good for the reality. My mind has cheated me. The little cafe by the lake has let me down. Their hot chocolate disappoints.


I've been dreaming of this for weeks and now when finally time permits the reality come crashing down around my ears. It's not strong enough, not sweet enough and not hot enough. It is simply not as good as I remembered it!


I have to admit it does look the same, exactly the same and it was made by the same girl so I can but assume it IS the same, but it is my memory that has treated me like a fool. I have allowed my mind to wander and distort.. The lesson here is simple, so as not to face future disappointment don't leave it so long next time, as the myth grows with time.