Three weeks later

It's nearly 3 weeks since the last operation.  The majority of that time has been pretty good. Sleeping, or rather remaining asleep has been the biggest issue.  Trying to get comfy with healing stitches in your throat is no easy task but there is good news.  I saw the surgeon and his newest Registrar on 13 August and was told the cancer had not spread to the left side so the option to go in for a third surgery and remove the lymph nodes will not occur at this stage. YAH for me!!!  I am really happy with the new scar and wouldn't want it messed with again!   So where to from here???  The Surgeon signed me off and has referred me to an Endocrinologist to continue with monitoring and treatment.  Surgeon said I would be having the Radioactive Iodine treatment in the future, but as the John Hunter Hospital only has one lead room,  it could be quite a wait.  Waiting is fine, more time to heal!!!

Getting back into a routine is not the easiest task simply because of the sleep problems.  Waking tired, or in a bit of a drug haze is the issue. I have cut out all pain killer but do take them at night on the really really bad nights.  I now totally understand why they put me off work for so long.
I can drive again and have been out and about, trying to keep myself busy.  I still can't lift heavy things comfortably so I use the laundry trolley to transport all the other stuff like groceries and potting mix.   Ingenious I hear you say. Yep, that me, although WHY it took so long to work out is a whole other issue!!!  Carrying my camera gear is not really an option at this stage.  So when I do go out I either take one camera/one lens...... or an assistant to carry the load. THANKS JOSH!

I did manage to get some shots last week, just of some oddities at a friends business.  Best I show you and I hope to get out again later today to get some more. I did manage to recommence my 100 Stranger Project too with a shot of Eden.  No.51 so it is all downhill from here!   But first up here are the ones from last week....  hope you like them!

Yep, It's cancer alright.

So you know how I wasn't getting to learn about the makeup of Mr Lumpy Bump until 16 July......well that changed.  On 12 July my nephew sent me a text to ring his mum straight away.  She had received a call from the surgeon and he needed to talk to me urgently.  I had had two missed calls on my mobile, but as the number was blocked I couldn't call back.  So I rang the Doc and he is all wordy and  apologetic that he has to tell me some bad news over the phone.  Mr Lumpy Bump is not a benign follicular neoplasm, he is a papillary carcinoma and I need further surgery PRONTO.  Pronto as in Tuesday July 17.  Yes, he still needed to see me monday, some pre op stuff and some form signing etc, but there would be slicing and dicing the following day.

Well, this is soooooo not what I had expected.  Blew me away. When I rang him I really thought he was ringing the change my monday appointment time, not tell me the news I had never expected to get.   I was a bit lost for the moment and due to the environment I was in, it was hard to hear everything he said.  I was waiting to get a haircut when all this happened and when I eventually sat in the cutters chair I had no real idea what was ahead of me and I have no way to articulate what I wanted done to my locks.  I exited the hairdressers with much less length than I expected, but it will grow back.

When I got home I had to tell a few people about what was happening next and that included my two office buddies Louise and Lexi.  I rang the boss first and asked for him to give me half an hour to tell the girls before it became common knowledge at work.  I also rang my buddy Jen who is in hospital at the mo fighting the good fight against breast cancer.  I wasn't sure whether to tell her or not, but she was going to find out sooner or later, so it was better coming from me. I rang a few special folk and much much later in the evening I put the news up on facebook page. My facebook page is private so only selected people can see what I write.  So many people have responded and I feel bad that I just haven't had the presence of mind to respond.  You see for the first time I have not felt positive about this.  I am apprehensive about op number #2. I fear carrying on like a pork chop in recovery again and that feeling when all I wanted was ice that I thought I would die if I didn't get a sliver of ice in my parched mouth.

Knowledge is power and I know I will be feeling much more positive after I have a chat with the surgeon tomorrow, but that doesn't help how I feel today.  Worse still I have soooo much housework to do. Loads of washing.  I need to clean out the fridge and tend the veggies and I have no energy to do anything but sit on this stupid time wasting machine feeling miserable.

So I'm thinking this is so negative I will never post it.  I'll just save it as a draft and see how it goes.

Well I held the above post in "Drafts" until today.  Here comes part 2. Hang on to your hat!!!

I saw the surgeon on 16 July and went to hospital on 17 July only to be again bumped out of the surgical list due to lack of time.  Surgeon was very concerned that I didnt get a cold and he'd have to postpone me again so he put me off work and back into home isolation for a fortnight.

On 31 July I arrived at the John Hunter Hospital at 6am and hit the Operating Theatre 1 at 9am.  The second operation was called a left hemithyroidectomy and took 96 minutes in total.  Just before I went in the Docs changed the consent form from WITH neck dissection to "blank".  I was a bit groggy and had no idea what this meant but later found out that they were going to try to preserve the lymph nodes.

I spoke to the doctors about the wrestle I had in recovery after op 1 and so they changed the drug they used on me...... and it worked a treat.  I woke up to Rebecca pumping morphine into my arm and ice into my mouth and the world was rosey.   There must have been some blood as I recall them cutting off my gown and I awoke washed and refreshed in a white gown, instead of the surgical blue.   Nice not to have blood caked in my hair this time!  It was early afternoon when I was taken up to the ward.

I had a two night stay this time.  Restful is not a word to describe hospital.  I was continually awoken for more blood tests or tablets or to check my drip or blood glucose levels.  The surgeons called around twice a day as well as the ward Residents and Interns.  It was pretty hectic and I was glad to finally be released.

One thing I hadn't reckoned on was the medication.  I came home on 20 tablets a day.  A mix of painkillers and antibiotics, but now, 11 days on, I am down to just 3 for the thyroid.  The daily blood tests end monday......well at least I hope they end monday.

Yes monday..... tomorrow.... an early start.  9.30 blood tests at the hospital followed by an 11am appointment with the surgeon.  Hopefully he will have a plan of attack ready for me for ongoing treatment and details on what was found in the other half of my thyroid.

In the second op the Doc reopened the initial wound and extended it.  In the process he straightened it up so I am very happy with the result. Looks good and is clean and a nice colour.  It is very sore.  It was probably this sore last time too, but I can't clearly remember.  That first op seems so long ago.

My boss has been excellent, ringing and texting and bending over backwards to make this easy for me. My friends have been supportive and helpful and the offers of assistance have been coming in thick and fast.  My nephew Russell has borne the workload.  Driving, shopping, lifting, gardening and doing all the stuff I can't do.   He's a good kid.

The Boss broke the "no flowers" rule and sent me an enormous bouquet.  What's a girl to do, but to take  photos of it!  Here are some!

So much better than grapes!

You know when you are sick people tend to spoilt you with flowers and grapes and stuff like that.  Well as you know I've been a bit little but sick and I did get some lovely flowers, no grapes, but 4 dozen roses and a bouquet of gerberas and cabbage flowers made up for the lack of grapes.  I also received one very unusual gift.....a live model.  My mate D knows how i LOVE to have a camera in my hand and so instead of flowers or grapes he turned up with Kiara!  A 21 year old vivacious creature with a full sleeve tattoo and a part shaved and tattooed head!  AWESOME!  Sooooo much better than grapes!

I have the ability to turn my loungeroom into a 5 light studio with full continuous paper backdrop set up in about 10 minutes flat and that we did.  Struggling to lit heavy stuff D helped me raise the backdrop and set up some lights.  He also did some prop moving and held me steady as I climbed up a little ladder to shoot from above.   Knowing I wanted to do a  bit of a glam shoot Kiara took the time to curl her hair and do her makeup and she was totally into the glam role.

We shot in four outfits....... but one just didn't suit the brief.  So four became three and over two hours we managed to get about 35 classy (even if I do say so myself) shots.  Coffee was consumed, the studio packed away and goodbyes said left me exhausted but I did manage to view the images that night. I am not one for photoshop, simply as I have no idea how to use it, but with consistent lighting and stable backdrops nothing really needed to be done to them.

So here are a few of what was shot.
I hope you like them. I know I do!

Just some photos this time around

Some lovely flowers.

Over and out!

Over and out, but I don't mean in "this is my last blog post" kinda way.  I mean in my op is over and Mr Lumpy Bump is out!  Yep, at EXACTLY this time last week I was in the anaesthetic bay of operating room 5 at the John Hunter Hospital chatting to Gabby and Chris about persian fetta when Chris hooked me up to the drip and I drifted off.  The discharge notes state I had a Right Hemi Thyroidectomy with a level 6 lymph node dissection and a nerve monitor. The operation took exactly 136 minutes.  I woke up in recovery and disgraced myself by having a wrestle with 4 nurses, ripping off the mask, begging for ice. I lost a fair bit of bark in that wrestle, mostly from my elbows and knees. Lucky I was in one of the brand spanking new plastic electric beds.  I could have done some real damage in a metal bed.

So 7 days later the state of play is pretty good.  The main scar is a little disappointing!  It is a 7cm "midline transverse incision" which basically means it is a single cut across the middle of my throat.... but it is a little crooked and not evenly placed.  But I did say to the surgeon that I had no issue with whatever scar I ended up with and that is true.  Long term, it will fade.  The compression stocking, endless drugs, pulling stitches, missing skin, swelling hands, pain swallowing, eating, coughing, breathing and the lack of quality sleep are taking their toll BUT Mr Lumpy Bump has GONE and that has to be the number one plus outweighing all the rest!

Where to from here?  Well Mr Lumpy Bump ended up in a jar and has since been frozen and is being tested to find out exactly what he is made of!  I find that out on July 16 and until then there is nothing I can do but rest and recover.  The results are either going to be good or bad, but nothing I can do in the way of worry or concern will change the result....... so that issue will not be entering my mind again until 16 July.

So.....as you know my passion is photography and I wanted the have a shot of myself pre scar.  Being in lock down to avoid the common cold and having surgery cancelled for a third time I had to either take a self portrait OR never have that shot.   I set the tripod up in the loungeroom and took a few shots.  Well actually I took a few DOZEN shots.  Autofocus is great but getting the focus point on my face and not  onto the curtains, tv, reflector or window was a challenge. But I got it done.  Today I look a second selfie.  Same outfit, same window light, same tripod and a similar perspective.  I took a lot less shots today to get the finished product.  Sure I could have just taken a post op shot and photoshopped the scar out.... but that was kinda cheating.

I do not know how people take a selfie EVERYDAY.   Yes!  There are some freaks in the photo community that take a self portrait everyday.  Some for a year, some ongoing.  Those people are just amazing and have something I don't possess.  There are some very famous 365 sets. Andrew Gunsberg for one.  His 365 included dramatic and difficult artifical lighting.  Moo shot consistently for over 500 days from the day of her divorce onwards.  Crazy!!   There are currently hundreds of 365 groups on flickr some with over 2000 members!!!   For me, the tripod will be packed away.  Maybe an update 12 months from now, but i don't need record and compare anymore.  That job is done.

So here they are.....  Pre and post op shots.
Hope you enjoy them.

 

An update

Forgive me blogosphere for I have sinned, it has been 30 days since my last post.  Apparently not posting three times a week and not commenting on comments is a sure fire way for your blog to fail, if you believe what the "experts" say.  But as my blog is not in any way, shape or form a commercial venture I'm reckon I'm ok with irregular postings.

Much has happened in the last 30 days.  Primarily it is to do with my impending surgery.  I have a rather largish lump attached to my thyroid gland that the Doctors think would be better in a jar than in my throat and I must say I am very keen to agree with them.  I blame Moo for finding it, but she has a different recollection of events.  Suffice to say April 11 was the day it came under notice.  I've seen doctors, doctors and many more doctors since then.  I've had nuclear scans, ultrasounds, biopsies, blood tests and a really weird camera up my nose since then.  All have come back with the same result. Yep, it's big and it shouldn't be there!! I've had surgery booked and cancelled twice and today received another "confirmation" call from the John Hunter.  The hospital staff and the surgeon and registrars are all wonderful, labouring under a system that appears to have inefficiencies and shortcoming built in but the upshot is that by this time next week I should be home with a lovely run of staples across my neck from ear to ear.  And I'm actually fine with that.   I'm 51 and no oil painting, so an ear to ear scar is nothing to worry about.  My mate Manse suggested I get some bolts, cos "you can never have enough metal".  I guess it might resemble Frankensteins Monster for a short time, but truly a small price to pay for the return of sleep that is currently avoiding me.  Oh, I'm not worried about the lump, that is not what is keeping me awake,   it is the lump pressing into me when I lay down making breathing, and sleeping, a smidge difficult that is the issue.  But it won't be an issue for much longer. Roll on Tuesday!

So my last 30 days have been spent running about, having more tests and avoiding the common cold which WILL make my surgery be cancelled again.

But it is not all bad....... there has been some interesting stuff happen in the last 30 days too.  VERY few photos have been taken, but I have had spare time for reading and viewing the images created by others.  Oh and there has been some daytime telly too!  I'm not a big fan of the telly, but there is a new show starting tonight on the ABC that tickles my fancy.  PHOTO FINISH (ABC1 8pm) a show about photography!!!  I'm pretty excited because it is an Australian made show with Aussie amateur AND professional photographers and curators.  I can't wait to see it.

Also on the photography front my 6 months exhibition at the Mater Hospice, which ended up being an 8 month exhibition, came down today.  Rather than store it away it is going up on the conference room wall of a local solicitors office.  GREAT opportunity to be seen and,  hopefully,  be a calming influence on its viewers.

And finally on the photo front I have managed to get my backdrop stand up in the loungeroom and with a little more furniture shuffling I CAN do a 4 or 5 light setup.  I'll get back to that when I'm looking more like Frankensteins monster than I do right now!

Heres the one and only pic taken this week...

Catch up again after the "Grand Opening" !!!

It's all happening here!!!

My love of photography has given me so much.  Delight, joy, entertainment, confidence and a bevy of new friends, acquaintances and heroes.  Events, openings and opportunities.  Skills honed, knowledge expanded and a heap of things I just don't understand, but do enjoy.

This month is a big one for me.  My 6 month exhibition at the Mater Hospice is coming to an end. I have 8 images hung there. All macro floral shots, beauty and symmetry in pink.

As one door closes another one opens. Yesterday an exhibition of 10 of my images opened at the Regent Theatre. Vastly different to the Mater works which are soft and gentle and romantic in form, the new exhibition is one of man made form. Brightware, chrome, shiney hood ornaments on well loved cars. Each fluid and divine. Each designed to enhance the beauty of the automobile, each an icon to distinguish that vehicle from a myriad of others.

Whilst the floral art and the Brightware are vastly different in form, shape, construction and material, they are similar in the feelings they evoke. Both have smooth lines, voluptuous curves and even those cast in metal are, like the blooms, soft, gentle and intrinsically beautiful. I enjoy photographing both.


One other event has imposed itself on my month of May. I have been diagnosed with cancer.  I expected to be told I had some infection, but my GP's first comment was "I think it is cancer". Same day second opinion, same result. Blood tests, ultrasounds, nuclear scans and finally a biopsy all concluded the same.  I am quite disappointed in myself. I feel I have missed a brilliant opportunity.  When the doc first said cancer I instantly thought ....what a GREAT photo opportunity.  Photographing my journey as I progress thru treatment to cure.  But I didn't do it.  I didn't take a single shot. Why? Because I honestly thought I had been misdiagnosed.  A month later I am too far down the track to start taking shots now.


So where to from here?  Well I still have my "100 Strangers" project on the go. Stranger 51 will be my next.  "Strange, NOT Strangers" still fills the void during those times when strangers and just too vanilla or too scarce.  The home studio is close to completion, it is not a permanent feature, but one where I can set up a 5 light setup with either fabric or continuous paper background in less than 20 minutes.   The cat has finally vacated the light tent after taking up residence in there a few weeks ago, so I have reclaimed it for my photographic uses. My speedlights, softboxes and brollys are all ready to rock.  I'm just not sure how much free time I will have to exercise my passion over the next few weeks, but I WILL be making some images.  As for the cancer, well I will be beating that. The process is time consuming and maybe a little bit nasty, but this time next year it will just be a memory.  I have only told a few people whats going on, it all seems very self indulgent and some reactions have been....difficult.  People just don't know what to say.  Like my love of photography I am leaping into treatment with gusto and it won't beat me.

So the big question is ..... how do I get cat hair out of a light tent?